To Be Alive
by Akari Ito
Summary: Lucy is a normal teen aged girl except her home life is horrible. She has an abusive father and she can't tell anyone about it. To make things worse she is teased at school and has been considering suicide. What happens when someone discovers her secret.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

**Anxiety**

**AN: I don't own Fairy Tail I am merely borrowing the characters to make my own story. This story will be rated M for suicide, death and crime related things not for any sexual themes so if you are looking for them you'll have to look somewhere else. This will be a school fanfiction and set in an alternate universe so it will not have magic involved.**

My name is Lucille Grace Heartfilia, I am fifteen years old, I live with my dad my mom died giving birth to me and my dad blames me for her dying. Every day after he comes home from work he drinks and drinks until he was drunk or passed out. I take care of myself and try to good and listen to my dad and give him his drinks. If I don't get them fast enough he will hit me so I try to go as fast as I can. But there are times that even if I get him his drinks he will be so drunk that he will beat me up. Each night I cry myself to sleep and pray that tomorrow he won't hit me. I don't tell anyone afraid of what might happen if my dad finds out that I said something. So when I started kindergarden I made sure to keep my bruises covered so no one would see them. The ones I couldn't cover I lied about saying I fell or accidentally ran into something. It wasn't any better at school I was teased and picked on because I was the biggest klutz. I was labeled a klutz because of the bruises I had that could be seen that and I was clumsy anyway. As I grew up I began to cover up the bruises with make-up so people wouldn't get suspicious. I knew that one day I would be found out but I never expected to wake up and today be that day.

"Hey look it's the klutz." My biggest bully Natsu Dragneel said as I came into the class. The rest of the class laughed with him while I sat in my usual spot alone in the back of the classroom. "Hey nerd walk into a shelf again?" Natsu taunted me. I tried to ignore him taking out my books and notebook I needed for the class. "Or maybe you put on too much make up today." Natsu continued. "Don't you ever shut up?" I muttered under my breath. "Do you want to say something?" Natsu asked. "Nothing." I replied cooly but bitterly. "That's what I thought." He said laughing. The rest of the day went like that and at the end I stayed in the library for a while then changed into normal clothes like I usually did. Then like I did when I was lonely I went to the school's roof to sing away my feelings before going home for another night of my dad's abuse. I suffer from depression that I mask so no one will know that I have it but suppressing it has only made it worse. As I have gotten older my dad's abuse became more frequent and almost everyday so it worsened my depression. Recently I had contemplated the idea of suicide and the more I thought about it the more I thought about actually doing it. So after another bad day at school I changed into a sundress and removed any make up I was wearing and let my hair out of its bun letting it cascade down my shoulders and back. I looked so much like my mom, I had seen a picture of her and I think my dad's abuse worsened because I reminded him of her and it hurt him to even look at me.

I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my bruises on most of my body some being covered by my waist length wavy hair. I then grabbed my things and went up to the roof to sing like I always did. I set my things down and began to sing dancing around a bit just letting loose and the tears coursed down my face as I did. Then the thought of suicide again crossed my mind and I continued singing as I walked towards the edge of the roof. I began another song as I reached the edge standing there watching the sunset knowing that it was going to be my last one. I sang with all my might not caring if anyone heard me just letting the wind blow my hair around. As I finished the song I was about to walk off the roof when a pair of arms wrapped around my waist picking me up. "Don't do it." The person who had picked me up said. "Let me go!" I screamed struggling against the muscular arms that held me. "No if I do you'll jump." The person replied backing away from the edge. "That's the point you idiot, I want to die so let me go!" I screamed back. "Why do you want to die?" The person asked still holding me tightly. "None of your business you jackass! Why do you even care if I die?" I screamed back.

"Because I can't just stand and watch someone take their life, not again, not like my dad!" The person shouted back. I stopped struggling hearing those words come out of the person's mouth. "Please put me down I promise I won't jump." I said in a normal voice. "Alright but if I let you go and you try to jump again I will pick you up again and not let you go until we get on solid ground." He said putting me down and letting go of me. "Thank you, now if you don't mind I need to get home." I said walking over to my things. "So I save your life and you don't stop to say thank you to my face?" The person said to me. "You sound just like the jackass I have to deal with everyday but thank you, thank you for stopping me from dying and putting myself out of my misery." I said sarcastically turning towards him. The moment my eyes landed on the person I realized that the person who I hated the most the one who teased me relentlessly was the one who stopped me from jumping, the one and only Natsu Dragneel. "You're welcome." He said back equally sarcastic. "You don't know who I am do you?" I asked realizing he had no idea. "No I don't." Natsu answered. "Well if you don't know then I won't bother telling you, goodbye Natsu." I said heading home.

The moment I walked in the door I shuddered knowing what I was in for. "Lucy where have you been?!" My father screamed at me as he began his assault. The rest of the night was spent with him yelling at me and hitting me until he finally passed out so I went to bed dreading the morning. I woke up got dressed in my uniform put my hair in its usual bun then covered as many of my bruises as I could and I got most of them. The hardest to cover up was the cuts I had gotten from broken bottles or falling against something and the swelling. I grabbed my things and walked to school like I always did and I walked into my classroom for another day of school. After school was over I was caught off guard when someone grabbed my wrist and dragged me from the classroom and up to the roof. "What the hell are you doing?" I shouted to the person. After the words left my mouth the person drenched me in water making my bun fall out and all the make up I used to cover my bruises wash off. "I knew it." He said. "Natsu I should have known it was you, you are such a jerk!" I yelled pushing my hair out of my face. "It was you who tried to jump off the roof yesterday wasn't it?" Natsu asked. "Yeah so what?" I yelled at him shivering. "Here use this." Natsu said tossing a big fluffy towel at me. "Thanks, turn around I have a change of clothes and I don't want you watching me change." I said taking my after school clothes from my bag.

"I'm done." I said once I was done the towel was on my head. "What the hell happened to you, why would you commit suicide?" Natsu asked gesturing to me. "Why should you care but to answer your question, it was my family and you." I spat back at him. "Yesterday I saw your bruises, there's more today." Natsu said looking over me. "You what?" I asked surprised. "Yesterday when I stopped you from jumping I saw the bruises all over your arms, legs, face, neck and chest." Natsu replied grabbing onto my arms. "Those are nothing." I said trying to lie. "You call these nothing it looks like you were beaten black and blue. I know I haven't been nice to you but that is just how I act because of my past but I really care about you so tell me what happened to you." Natsu said in a soft but serious tone. "I can't tell you." I said even though I felt like I wanted to. "Here how about I tell you about my past then you can tell me what happened." Natsu said. "But I…" He cut me off before I finished my sentence. "My mom died giving birth to me and my dad didn't blame me for it but he went into a deep depression always drinking and then when I was ten he took some sleeping pills and never woke up. He committed suicide so deep was his grief from losing her that he couldn't stand to live without her." Natsu said. "Oh Natsu I'm so sorry." I said tears falling from my eyes. "That's why I picked on you my heart was broken and I was angry so I had to take it out on someone and unfortunately you were that person I chose to take it out on." Natsu explained further.

"I forgive you Natsu but I still can't tell you how I got these bruises and cuts." I said wiping away my tears. "Why not?" He asked. "Because I can't now if you'll excuse me I'm going home." I said grabbing my wet uniform and bag. I walked home and I got home and when I got there my dad was waiting for me on the couch. "Lucy bring me my beer." He called to me. While I was bringing him his drink a knock came on the door so I handed my dad his drink. Then I went to see who was at the door and when I opened it there was Natsu. "Natsu how did you know I lived here?" I asked surprised to see him. "I followed you." He answered. "Go away Natsu." I said closing the door. He began knocking on the door asking me to open it up but I ignored it. "Lucy make that sound stop." Dad said becoming angry. "Go away Natsu you're bothering us." I said opening the door then closing it. He continued to knock and as he did my dad became angrier and he began to abuse me and finally his breaking point came and he went to the door a large knife in his hand. He opened the door and was about to hurt Natsu with the knife so I lunged forward and stood in front of him and the knife plunged into my chest instead. I gasped as it went in and fell backwards into the hallway of the apartment building gasping for air. The last thing I could remember was Natsu holding me in his arms while he called 911, then everything went black.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**Next**

**AN: I don't own Fairy Tail, I do own this story.**

His POV

Lucy ran in front of me just as the knife in his hand came down plunging into her chest. She fell backwards as blood came from her wound I dialed 911 and picked her up in my arms watching her gasp for air blood began to come out of her mouth. Her eyes went blank and she went limp in my arms as I told the person on the phone what happened. Soon people arrived rushing her away while I was left behind with the police and her father. I explained everything and they arrested him I went home and changed before going to the hospital to see how she was. "Excuse me I'm looking for someone could you tell me where they are?" I asked the lady behind the desk. "Sure young man what's the person's name?" She asked me. "Her name is Lucy Heartfilia." I replied. "She's in surgery at the moment and visiting hours will be over soon so come back tomorrow you can see her then." The lady responded. "Thank you I will." I said before leaving. I walked home ate dinner did my homework then went to bed praying that Lucy would be alright. When she went limp and her eyes went blank I thought she wasn't going to make it but she was hanging on to life by a thread. The next morning when I went to school I told the teacher what happened to say why Lucy wasn't at school.

"Attention class I have an announcement to make. Yesterday your classmate Lucy Heartfilia was stabbed in the chest by her father. He was put in jail and she is in the hospital so we will make her a get well card. I'm sure she would appreciate it if you would visit her she is at the Magnolia Hospital." Mr. Clive our teacher said. Everyone worked on a card and after school Mr. Clive gave me the card to give to her when I went to see her at the hospital. I didn't bother to go home I went straight from school to the hospital to see how she was doing. "Excuse me which room is Lucy Heartfilia in?" I asked. "Oh hello again young man she is in room 2- 207 on floor two." The lady from the day before said. "Thank you very much." I said before going to her room. When I got to her room she was asleep on the bed she was hooked up to an IV and heart monitor she was extremely pale and looked like a ghost. I set the flowers I had brought onto the bedside table along with the card the class made for her then I sat down on a chair next to her and grabbed her hand and it felt cold.

Her POV

I opened my eyes and felt something warm on my hand and looked to see what it was and was surprised to see that it was Natsu holding my hand. "Natsu why are you here?"I asked weakly feeling like all my strength is gone. "Because I was worried about you." He replied. "I'm fine so you can go." I said trying to not get overly happy at him being here. "I don't want to go." He said surprising me. "Why not, you don't need to be here." I said unkindly. "I want to be here, but if you want me to leave I will." He said standing up. "No you can stay I have a few questions." I said stopping him. "Alright what do you want to know?" He said sitting back down. "I want to know what happened?" I asked him. "Well you know the part about you stepping in front of me and so you got stabbed in the chest with the knife. You fell backwards and the blood came out of your wound I dialed 911 on my cellphone and picked you up in my arms. You were gasping for air and blood began to come out of your mouth you did that the entire time I was on the phone. Then when I ended the call and tried to talk to you telling you to hang in there. Then you began limp and your eyes went blank and your gasping had become worse I was sure you would die then and there. That is when the medics arrived and took you away the medics were followed by the policemen and I was given the task of explaining things. After I told them what happened they handcuffed the man who stabbed you and took him to the police station." Natsu explained everything.

"That man who stabbed me do you know who he is?" I asked sadly. "I'm not sure but if I'm right he's your dad isn't he?" Natsu asked me. "Yes his name is Jude Michael Heartfilia." I said my dad's full name. "Your dad has been on the news he is being charged for attempted manslaughter and will be tried in court next week." Natsu said solemnly. "I suppose that means I will have to appear in court doesn't it?" I asked equally solemn. "Yes it does, I'm Mirajane Strauss I'm a social worker." A white haired lady said entering the room. "Hello I'm Lucy Heartfilia." I said shaking the lady's hand. "Hey Mira what's up?" Natsu asked casually. "You know her?" I asked surprised. "Ah you see since Natsu has no family he is an orphan and therefore has a case worker who happens to be me. Since your father most likely be going to jail you will be put into a foster home and I will be your case worker." Mira explained to me. "Pardon me but you look like a teenager and Natsu has been an orphan since he was ten and he's sixteen now so how does he have you for his case worker?" I asked as politely as I could. "Oh you see I'm only twenty I have only been his case worker for two years his former case worker retired so I took over for her." Mira explained. "I see so what exactly will happen to me?" I asked. "Well you will stay here at the hospital until you are released then after that you will be placed with a foster family where you will live until you are eighteen." Mira explained again. "What about going to court?" I asked.

"Well you will have to testify and so will Natsu then it will be up to the judge to what happens to your father." Mira said. "Thank you for telling me." I thanked her politely. "I will be back tomorrow to check on you it was a pleasure meeting you Lucy." Mira said before leaving. "Natsu do you like your foster family?" I asked him. "I actually live in this place for older foster kids and it has a lot of different people but for three years I lived with a foster family that I didn't really like. I'm sure that you will be put in the same place as I am since you are old enough." Natsu explained. "I hope so." I said becoming depressed. "Lucy stop being so down I don't want to see you so sad it makes me upset." Natsu said kindly. "It never bothered you before to see me upset." I said making a point. "Actually it did but I covered it up by teasing you more." Natsu admitted. "Oh I see." I replied.

One Week Later

I was released from the hospital two days ago and Natsu was right I was put in the same place with him which I am glad about. Today was the day I had to appear in court and I was told to not wear any make up and to wear clothes that showed my bruises easily. I was called up to the stand and was sworn in and it was time for the questions to begin. I answered all of them and at the end of it all my dad was sentenced to fifteen to twenty-five years in prison. After that I went to my new home and began unpacking my things putting everything away the way I wanted it. I was unpacking some of my clothes when I heard a knock on my bedroom door. "Come in." I said turning to see who had visited me. "Hello my name is Levy McGarden I came to welcome you here to the Fairy Tail foster home." A short blue haired girl said. "Hello I'm Lucy Heartfilia it's a pleasure to meet you." I said shaking her hand. "I'm sorry to hear how you got here." She said compassionately. "Thanks what about you how did you get here, that is if you don't mind telling me?" I asked her politely. "No I don't mind, my dad was a rapist who was caught two months after I was born he was sentenced to life in jail with no chance of parol. As to my mom she was an alcoholic and drank herself to death one night I've been in and out of foster homes since I was three." She responded casually. "Your story is much worse than mine." I said empathetically. "If you think my story is bad you should hear some of the other's stories." Levy said smiling. "There are stories that are worse than yours?" I asked shocked.

"Oh yeah way worse." Levy said giggling. "You're playing with me aren't you?" I asked. "Yes I am but there are a lot of sad stories around here." Levy said turning serious. "I'm sure, so where do you go to school?" I asked. "Fairy Academy class 1-B what about you?" Levy answered. "Fairy Academy class 1-A so we go to the same school." I said happily. "Yeah at lunch would you like to sit together at lunch?" Levy asked. "I would love to." I said. "Well then I will see you at lunch tomorrow I'll meet you at the cafeteria doors." Levy said. "Alright see you there and again it was nice meeting you." I said as Levy left my room. I continued to unpack my clothes and other things and by the time I was done it was time to go have dinner. The foster home had a main part where food was served and everyone could hang out I was happy to meet a bunch of new people and maybe make new friends. "Hey you new girl over here." A brown haired girl called to me. "Hello I'm Lucy Heartfilia." I introduced myself sitting down next to the girl. "I'm Cana Alberona nice to meet you Lucy." She said shaking my hand. "Nice to meet you Cana you look familiar to me." I said looking at her. "We're in the same class 1-A at Fairy Academy our teacher is Mr. Gildarts Clive." Cana said. "Oh right you sit across the aisle from me and always have that metal water bottle with you." I said finally remembering where I knew her from. "Yup that's me but it's not water in the bottle." Cana said smirking. "You don't mean…" I left my sentence hanging. "It's alcohol." Cana said letting me smell the bottle. "You shouldn't have that at school." I said concerned. "Ah don't worry no one cares plus my dad is our teacher." Cana said relaxed.

"Mr. Clive I didn't know that, and if he's your dad why do you live here?" I asked surprised. "You see this foster home is managed by several adults so that it is like a big family and my dad happens to be one of the adults. The adults along with their families live here to so that's why." Cana explained. "Oh I see that makes a lot of sense." I said as I ate my food. "So Lucy how come you always wear your hair in that boring bun?" Cana asked poking my bun. "I like having my hair up plus my dad asked me to keep my hair up because if I wore it down I reminded him too much like my mom." I responded patting my bun trying to fix it. "Oh I heard all about your story I'm sorry to hear about it but now that he's in jail why don't you try a different style." Cana suggested. "You know I think I will try something different tomorrow, since it is Friday my favorite day of the week." I said with enthusiasm. "That's the spirit Lucy." Cana cheered. "Nice meeting you Cana I'll see you tomorrow." I said before going back to my room. I walked to my room which had its own bathroom like everyone else's. I did my make up work from school then took a shower put my pajamas on braided my long hair and climbed into bed. I fell asleep almost immediately and my sleep became fitful dreaming about my abuse and how my dad was angry at me and coming after me to kill me. Unknown to me I began to toss and turn moaning in my sleep then finally in my dream the knife in my father's hand came down and I woke up screaming.

"Lucy are you alright?" Natsu said running into my room. His room was next to mine so he probably heard me screaming and came to see if I was alright. "I dreamt that my father was chasing me with a knife and was going to kill me. Then I tripped and he lunged forward the knife in his hand about to kill me when I woke up screaming." I said as tears fell down my face. "Lucy don't cry he's gone and I will make sure that never happen." Natsu comforted me hugging me. "Thanks Natsu you can go back to your room I'm better now." I said wiping away my tears. "Are you sure?" He asked. "Yeah thanks for being so nice to me." I said nodding my head. "Alright then goodnight." Natsu said going towards the door. "Goodnight Natsu." I said as he left closing the door.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Summer**

**AN: I don't own Fairy Tail.**

Today was the last day of school before summer vacation and next year we would be in tenth grade. I put on my uniform and brushed my hair deciding to wear it down instead of in a bun like Cana had suggested. A knock on my door caught my attention so I grabbed my school bag and went to open my door. "Good morning Natsu, what's up?" I asked seeing him there. "Just thought we could walk to school together." He said staring at me. "Sure why not." I said ignoring his stare. We were walking to school together when I felt him still staring at me. "Why the hell are you staring at me?" I asked peeved off. "You look so different." He answered. "Is that a bad thing?" I asked worriedly. "No it's just that I'm not used to seeing you like this I've only seen you with your hair down twice before and both times I wasn't paying that close of attention to how you looked." Natsu answered hurriedly. "Oh I see I brought a hair thing so I can put my hair up." I said taking it off of my wrist. "No don't!" Natsu shouted. "What?" I asked surprised. "I mean just leave your hair down it looks nice." Natsu said stumbling over his words. "Alright then I'll leave it down." I said putting the hair thing back on my wrist.

We arrived at school and walked into the classroom we were the first there and I decided to sit in the front instead of the back. I wasn't expecting that Natsu would sit in the chair next to mine like we were best friends. The rest of the class entered and a few people looked at me and then one guy hit on me. "Hey beautiful will you go out with me?" He asked. "Go away Loke she doesn't want to go out with you." Natsu said making the guy leave. The bell rang and Mr. Clive entered the classroom to start class with roll call. "Good morning class time for roll call first; Cana Alberona." He called. "Here." Cana said raising her hand. "Rouge Cheney." He called. "Here." A boy with his black hair tied in a ponytail answered raising his hand. "Alzack Connell." He called. "Here." Another black haired boy said, his hair spiked up, raising his hand. "Jet Crom." He called. "Here." A boy with spiky orange hair said raising his hand. "Natsu Dragneel." He called. "Here." Natsu replied raising his hand. "Jellal Fernandes." He called. "Here." A boy with long spiky blue hair and a tattoo over his right eye said raising his hand. "Lucy Heartfilia." He called. "Here." I replied raising my hand. I felt everyone's eyes on me when I did knowing that they were having trouble believing it was actually me since my hair was down. "Droy Jedd." He called. "Here." A boy again with black hair said raising his hand. "Millianna Luc." He called. "Here." A brown haired girl with cat ears replied raising her hand. "Warren Rocko." He called. "Here." Another black haired guy said raising his hand. "Bickslow Stone." He called. "Here." A blue and black haired guy responded raising his hand. "Lisanna Strauss." He called. "Here." A short white haired girl raised her hand. "Loke Stromm." He called. "Here." The guy who hit on me raised his hand. "Lyon Vastia." He called. "Here." A white haired guy raised his hand. "Evergreen Wood." He called. "Here." A brown haired girl with glasses said raising her hand.

"Everyone is here so let's begin our last day. Now I should give you guys a lesson but instead we will have a party." He said. The class cheered and everyone began talking and enjoying themselves and the rest of the day went like this. I had never really paid attention to my classmates but now my life changed and I began to really live my life without fear. After school was over we got our uniforms for the next year and Natsu and I walked home talking about the party. We parted ways in the foster home and went to change into regular clothes. I put my hair in a bun while I changed, I put on some light green jean capris and a spaghetti strap white shirt that gathered under my breasts then flared out going past my hips. The shirt had two pockets on the front I wore a pair of light green and white casual sneakers with white ankle socks. Once I was dressed I let my hair down and I brushed it and put it in a low side ponytail that went in front and to top it off I wore a wide white head band.

I put on my mother's locket that she had given me right before she died. She had held me in her arms put the necklace around my neck named me and then she passed away. I rarely wore the locket not wanting my dad to see it but now that he's in jail I wanted to wear it all the time. I turned off the lights in my room closing the door and was going to go to the main part to talk to people when I accidentally ran into someone. "Oh sorry." I apologized. "You're forgiven but it wasn't a problem." A scarlet haired girl said. "I'm Lucy Heartfilia." I introduced myself. "Nice to meet you Lucy I'm Erza Scarlet." She replied shaking my hand. "Same here." I said kindly. We went separate ways having met each other and now I had someone else I knew. I got to the main part and saw a huge fight going on and in a corner it looked like Cana was sitting on a guys lap facing him. As I looked closer I noticed Cana was kissing the guy and not only that but making out with the guy. "Well I hope that is her boyfriend and not some random guy she found to kiss." I said to myself. "That's Laxus, he and Cana have been dating since she was ten and he was eleven." Someone said standing next to me. "Oh Natsu hi." I said to him. Natsu was the one who had told me that the guy with Cana was indeed her boyfriend.

"Well they look…" I left my sentence hanging not sure how to finish it. "Yeah I know what you mean I think that they are going all the way this summer." Natsu said cringing. "You mean…" I let my question hang to embarrassed to finish it. "Yup." Natsu nodded his face pink. "Looks like they're going somewhere." I said my face becoming hot letting me know I was blushing. "Sure does." He said equally red. "I'm not going to think about where they might be going and doing." I said awkwardly. "Same here, let's go outside." Natsu said dragging me to a courtyard. "Why are we out here?" I asked. "Just to get away from that." Natsu answered. "Oh wow it's so serene." I marveled seeing a small stream. "I thought you might like it." Natsu said smiling. "Oh I love it Natsu." I said spontaneously hugging him. "Good, you look much better when you're happy you smile when you are." Natsu said. "I'm smiling?" I asked touching my face. "Yeah you are here I'll take a picture." He said pulling out a camera and taking my picture. "I am smiling." I said looking at the picture. "Wait is smiling unusual for you?" Natsu asked. "As far back as I can remember I have never smiled not even in my school pictures." I responded nodding my head.

"You're kidding me right, you can't mean that you haven't once smiled before?" Natsu said in surprise. "Ni I haven't here come with me I'll show you." I said pulling him back inside then to my room. "What are you doing?" Natsu asked me. "Well because my dad is in jail and I'm here our apartment went up for someone else to have so all our things were given to me. I got a storage locker and I'm looking for the key to it so I can get something from it." I said rummaging around in my desk drawers. "Oh." Natsu replied. "Ah ha here it is, tomorrow you and I will go on an adventure to find out about me." I said holding up the key. "That sounds fun when do we leave?" Natsu asked. "Don't worry I'll come and wake you up." I replied. "Alright it's dinner time so let's eat and then get to bed early." Natsu said dragging me to the dining area.

The next morning I woke up and put on a similar outfit as the day before except the shirt was light pink, so were the shoes and headband. The capris were white and instead of a side ponytail I french braided my hair down my back. After that I grabbed my purse, wallet, key, and journal with its pencil and went to wake Natsu up. I knocked on his door and it was opened by a sleepy Natsu I told him to get ready and meet me outside in front of the building. "Okay let's go." Natsu said. "Oh damn it I forgot that it is an hour away by foot." I said cursing my forgetfulness. "It's a good thing that I have it then." Natsu said. "Have what?" I asked. "Here come with me." He said pulling me somewhere. "This." Natsu said pulling a tarp off of something. "No way is that a motorcycle?" I asked enthusiastically. "Yes it was my dad's when I got my license I started using it so we can take it to your storage locker." Natsu said handing me a helmet. "Awesome I've always wanted to ride on one." I said getting on it behind Natsu.

"Hang onto me tightly ok." Natsu instructed me. "Alright I'll tell you how to get there." I said hugging him from behind. "Here we go." Natsu said starting the motorcycle. He backed it out and pulled onto the road I told him how to get there and we hade it there in fifteen minutes. He parked the motorcycle and he dismounted the bike then helped me down we put our helmets on top of the motorcycle. "So where is your storage locker?" Natsu asked. "I have no idea." I replied. "What do you mean you have no idea?" Natsu asked looking at me. "I mean that after I appeared in court and I was given this key and told all of our things was in a storage locker here and that this was the key for it." I said holding up the key. "So how do we know which one it is?" Natsu asked. "We ask someone from the main building for help of course." I said heading towards the building. "Welcome to Storage Galore." (If there is a place called Storage Galore I don't own it the name was just something I came up with to use.)A man greeted us when we entered the building.

"I'm looking for the storage locker that goes with this key." I said giving the man the key. "Ah so you are Lucy Heartfilia, follow me I will show you to it." The man said. "Thank you very much." I said as Natsu and I followed him. "Here it is number 777." The man said unlocking the storage unit. "Thank you." I said as the man left. "Well let's go inside." Natsu said opening the door. "Natsu I'm scared." I whispered. "Why are you scared?" Natsu asked. "My entire life is in there, every slap, every kick, every broken bottle, every piece of furniture, every drop of alcohol, every scream, and every tear drop." I said tears falling down my face. "Lucy that part of your life is over now you don't need to be afraid anymore." Natsu said hugging me. "You're right I don't need to be afraid but I am." I said wiping my tears away. "If you want I will hold your hand." Natsu offered kindly. "Thank you Natsu." I said putting my hand in his. "Let's go I turned on the light already." Natsu said pulling me into the storage locker. "I've never seen those boxes before." I said releasing Natsu's hand. "Did your apartment have a storage area for the tenants?" Natsu asked. "Yes my father said we did but I wasn't allowed to see it do you think these were in there?" I replied curiously. "Probably, they must be your mom's belongings." Natsu remarked picking up a box. "They are I'm sure of it, my dad had nothing of my mom's in the house except one picture but that was it." I said finding my school pictures. "Don't you want to see her things?" Natsu asked. "No at least not now, I got what I wanted to show you so let's go." I said walking out of the storage locker.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**Friends**

**AN: I don't own Fairy Tail and I never will.**

After I got what I came for we locked up the storage locker then we went back to the foster home. I showed Natsu that I really never have smiled before and then he vowed to make me smile so much that it would be impossible for me to believe that I never smiled. He said he would document all my smiles by taking pictures of them and at that statement I giggled and he took a picture of me showing me that I smiled. I actually was looking forward to how he would get me to smile so much. We enjoyed the rest of the day together and I met a few new people whose names were; Gray Fullbuster, Freyar aka Happy Tail, Elfman Strauss and his sister Lisanna Strauss. Elfman and Lisanna are Mirajane's younger siblings and she used to live at Fairy Tail until she got to old and when Elfman turns eighteen he will have to move out. Of course everyone who has lived here are allowed to visit since everyone here becomes like family. After dinner Natsu and I were playing video games in his room and I was winning but then after that everything is fuzzy to me. I woke up feeling uncomfortably warm and when I tried to move I couldn't I looked to see what held me and I saw none other than Natsu. I gasped and tried figuring out what happened last night when a laugh stopped my thoughts. "Trying to figure out what happened?" Natsu asked.

"Yes but can you let me go now?" I asked pushing my arms against his chest in attempt to get free. "Alright." Natsu said suddenly letting me go and I fell onto the floor. "Hey that hurt!" I yelled at Natsu who was laughing. "Sorry but it's your fault for pushing against me." Natsu said helping me up. "Now would you please tell me what happened last night?" I asked upset with his childishness. "Well we were playing video games then you fell asleep and I decided just to let you stay in my room for the night and because I needed somewhere to sleep I joined you. And because my bed is so small I had to wrap my arms around you to make us both fit on the bed better." Natsu explained. "Why didn't you just wake me up or sleep on the floor yourself?" I asked bitterly. "Because you looked so peaceful and I didn't want to sleep on the floor." He replied. "You are such a weirdo." I said walking out of his room. I went to my room took a shower and got dressed wearing denim capris and a light blue shirt like I had been wearing. Today I put my hair into a half ponytail that had a light blue bow on it instead of a headband. My shoes matched my bow and shirt completing my look and once I was done I went to say hi to Levy. "Good morning Levy." I said to Levy sitting next to her. "Good morning Lu-chan your hair is so long and pretty." Levy said grabbing a strand of my blonde hair. "Oh I forgot you haven't seen it down yet." I said remembering. "You look like a different person." Levy said releasing my hair. "You think so?" I asked happily. "Yes and your even smiling." Levy said. Just then a flash of light went off and I knew it was Natsu taking a picture of me smiling. "Natsu do you have to take a picture every time I smile?" I asked. "Yes." Natsu said before running off.

"What was that about?" Levy asked confused. "Well I have never smiled but the other day I did and now Natsu has made it his personal mission to capture a picture of every time I smile." I said sighing. "Aw that is so cute." Levy cooed. "How is that cute?" I asked surprised at her response. "It just is." Levy replied. "Whatever I heard that we were getting some new people joining the the foster home." I said. "Yeah they are over there, the big guy is Gajeel Redfox and that girl next to him is Juvia Lockser." Levy said pointing to two people who sat at a table away from most of the commotion. "He looks scary with all those piercings and she looks pretty normal although it looks like a rain cloud is over her." I said looking at the pair. "Juvia just needs cheering up and Gajeel just looks tough I'm sure he isn't that bad." Levy said. "Doesn't he scare you with his long black hair, his piercing red eyes and piercings?" I asked. "No he doesn't, it suits him." Levy replied. "Oh I get it you've got a crush on him." I teased. "No of course not." Levy said turning pink. "Whatever you say I'm going to talk to them." I said standing up.

"Hello my name is Lucy." I greeted them. "Juvia is the rain woman it is always with me." Juvia replied. "Oh I see." I said a little disturbed by her. "Hey Lucy who ya talking to?" Gray asked coming over to me. "Just some new people, and Gray your shirt is missing." I said to him. "Damn it." He said before going to find his shirt. "Gray wait for me." Juvia said following him her rain cloud gone. After that weird incident I went to they courtyard and was enjoying the fresh air around me. I lay in the warm sun on the cool grass closing my eyes just enjoying the warmth I felt as I slowly fell asleep a smile on my face. The next thing I knew was someone calling my name trying to find me. "Lucy where are you? Oh there you are I was looking for you." Natsu said as he took a picture of my smiling sleeping face. "Go away." I said to him not opening my eyes. "But Lucy it's lunch time." He said. "Fine let's go eat." I said getting up. "You have grass in your hair." Natsu said reaching to get it out. "Thanks." I said as we turned to walk in.

"Looks like they're at it again." I said looking to where Cana and Laxus were making out. "Yeah." Natsu replied. We ate our lunch and then the rest of the day we spent playing card games. "Goodnight Natsu." I said going to my room around eleven. I went to change into my pajamas and while I did I cleaned my stab wound and changed its bandage. I looked at it in the mirror and the sight made me cry knowing how I got it and that it would leave behind a scar that every time I saw it it would remind me of the abuse. I quickly covered it up and finished putting on my pajamas climbing into my bed. I let the tears roll down my face as I lay there in my bed crying feeling hurt again. I wasn't even aware that someone had come in my room until the person laid on the bed next to me and wrapped their arms around my waist. "Who's there?" I asked still crying. "It's just me, Natsu." The person replied. "Natsu what are you doing here?" I asked. "I have really good ears I heard you crying so I came to try to make you feel better." He replied softly. "Go away, I don't want you here." I said coldly. "You don't mean that." He replied. "Yes I do, now please just go away." I said harshly in a cold tone. "Fine if that is what you really want." Natsu said getting up. "Leave." I said coldly. "If you change your mind you know where I am." He said stopping at my door. "I won't." I replied in a biting tone. "Goodnight Lucy." Natsu said shutting my door after himself.

I cried harder eventually falling asleep from exhaustion and sleeping fitfully. The next day I didn't get out of bed sleeping most of the day away and for the next week I did the same only getting up to eat and to use the bathroom and changing my bandage. I refused to talk to anyone feeling so depressed that nothing mattered to me anymore. I had been getting better but when I saw my wound in its entirety I sank back into my pit of despair and sorrow. I didn't care about how I looked or smelled so my hair was all tangled and I smelled like something that died which is how I felt. People avoided me mostly but there were attempts to make me feel better mostly from Natsu and Levy. However their attempts were in vain there was nothing they could do to pull me out of my depression. The thoughts of suicide again surfaced and again were sounding better and better to me. Then after a month of me being depressed I decided to end my life but first there was one last thing I wanted to do. I took a shower brushed my hair and got dressed and went to hang out with everyone enjoying one last day with my friends.

I had been given pain medication for my stab wound and so when I went to bed that night I took what was left in the bottle and went to bed. I fell asleep thinking that I was glad to have met everyone and to have smiled at least a few times before I died.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**Smile**

**AN: I don't own Fairy Tail, and I never will but I do own this story.**

I was glad that she finally stopped being depressed but she didn't seem right to me. She wasn't acting like Lucy she just seemed to be going through the motions of being herself. When she went to bed I began to feel uneasy like something was off and so about half an hour after she had gone to her room to go to bed I decided to check on her. I turned on her bedroom light and she was laying on her bed looking like she was asleep and I was about to leave when I remembered that the hospital had given her pain meds. I went into her bathroom and saw the empty bottle of pills and a note next to the bottle. I quickly grabbed the note to read it to see what it said in it.

It read: _Dear Natsu, Levy and everyone else, I'm sorry to leave you this way but I could no longer stand to live. Know that in the short time that I knew you I enjoyed every minute of it. I want you to all know that I love you guys and that I am not doing this because of you but because of my own demons._

_To Levy: You were my first friend here and I will never forget that so now that I'm gone I give you all my books._

_To Cana: Your friendliness was a bright spot in my life I leave my clothes to you._

_To Juvia: I want you to know I never was your love rival for Gray I merely thought of him as a good friend I leave my sewing kit to you._

_To Erza: The first time I met you and ran into you, you were kind to me forgiving me immediately I leave my jewelry to you._

_To Gajeel: You frightened me at first but I came to know you and now I think of you as a friend I leave my dagger to you._

_To Gray: You always made me laugh when you stripped and to you I leave my grabber to pick up your clothes._

_To Happy: Your love of fish made the days more interesting and I leave you my recipes for cooking fish._

_Finally to Natsu: You saved my life when I tried to jump and you saved my life when I was stabbed, thank you. I hated you all my life because you teased me but when you showed me your selflessness my view of you changed. When you told me your story it gave me a different look at life and I wanted to live but even though you were so kind it could not erase my past. Goodbye everyone, Lucille Grace Heartfilia._

_PS Natsu I put a note in your room meant just for you._

I dropped the note and rushed to her checking to see if she was alright. She had a faint pulse and she was breathing shallowly, I picked her up and ran from her room and out from the foster home. The hospital was close by so I just ran hugging Lucy to me as I did. I made it there in a few minutes and I rushed in and told the nurse what happened and she was taken away on gurney. I sat in the waiting room praying that she would be alright and that I had made it in time to save her. "Excuse me are you the one who brought in Lucy Heartfilia?" A lady asked. "Yes, is she alright?" I asked. "She is very lucky that you brought her in when you did, we pumped her stomach and got most of it out of her but some had already been absorbed and all we can do is wait." The nurse said. "Can I see her?" I asked. "Yes but she is unconscious at the moment." She answered. "Thank you could you bring me to her?" I asked kindly. "Sure thing, she is really lucky to have a boyfriend as devoted as you." The nurse said. "She isn't my girlfriend." I said simply. "Oh I'm sorry I just assumed that you were from the way you have been acting." The nurse apologized. "No it's not a problem I wish she was." I said sincerely. Once the nurse brought me to the room she left and I went and held Lucy's hand like I had when she had been stabbed. Eventually I was forced to leave because visiting hours were over but the nurse promised to call me if anything changed.

I went into my room and on my pillow was a note that must have been the one Lucy had left for me. I opened it and it read: Dear Natsu, Thank you for being so kind to me and for standing up for me when I needed someone to help me. You said you teased me because of your own pain but that when I was sad that it hurt you to see me upset but you covered it up by teasing me more. When you told me that it made me feel happy and made me think about all the times you teased me. And when I thought about it I realized something and it was that I stayed alive this long because of you and your teasing. I stayed because you gave me a hope, something to live for, and gave me the one thing I wanted the most. You gave me the ability to love and be loved and that is something that I will treasure always. I want you to know that I really and truly love you Natsu Dragneel. I love you. Love Lucy.

After I read the note I couldn't help but cry because she told me the most amazing thing in the world, but not in the way it should have been. Instead I had to read it in a letter after she tried to commit suicide and could still possibly die from doing it. Damn it all why did she have to do it like this? Why couldn't she have just have told me? Why did she have to try to kill herself? Couldn't she see what she had? Didn't she know how we felt? Couldn't she see we wanted to help, that I wanted to help? Didn't she see that I was doing this all for her? Couldn't she see it was out of love I did this? Didn't she know that I was in love with her? I yelled at myself internally wondering how she was so blind and stupid. Every question I asked was answered with a no and it hit me that I wasn't showing her how much she meant to me and how much I cared for her. Then and there I vowed to myself that I would show her how I felt and that she was cared for. I wasn't going to confess to her but I was going to let her know how much she was loved. Then someday when it was the right time I would tell her my feelings and ask her to be my girlfriend. But for now it would have to wait because her wants, needs and feelings came first before mine.

The next morning I told the head of the foster home what had happened and I gave him the note then I went to the hospital to see how she was. When I got to the room she was unconscious and so I sat next to the bed holding her hand in mine. I was trying to figure out how to show her how much she was cared for when her hand squeezed mine. "Lucy?" I asked. "Natsu?" She responded. "I'm so glad that you are alright." I said hugging her. "I'm sorry." She said crying. "For what?"I asked her. "For killing myself." She answered tears streaming down her face. "Lucy you didn't succeed, you're still alive." I told her wiping away her tears. "I didn't?" She asked her eyes had been closed the entire time. "No you didn't, look I'm right here." I said still wiping at her tears. "I'm alive, I'm so glad I'm alive." Lucy said opening her eyes before hugging me. "Then why did you do it Lucy?" I asked her. "My scar where I was stabbed it triggered my memories of the abuse and I couldn't stop my depression. So I decided that after I spent one last day with my friends that I going to kill myself. But when I was falling asleep I was thinking about meeting everyone and how I got to smile. Then I remembered how you made it your personal mission to make me smile and I changed my mind but by then it was too late." Lucy said crying.

"Lucy it's alright, you didn't succeed you're still here." I said trying to comfort her. "Oh Natsu, did you read my letter to you?" She asked. "Yes I did." I answered simply. "That part where I said something important, can you please forget that?" She asked becoming red as a tomato. "If you want me to then yes. Would you like to have it back?" I responded to her. "Can I?" She asked. "Sure, here you go." I said handing the letter back to her. "Thank you." She said holding it to her chest. "You have very neat penmanship." I said to her. "Thank you, does anyone else know about me trying to you know." Lucy asked. "Yes we do and why would you do that." Levy cried rushing to hug Lucy. "You are very lucky that Natsu found you when he did." Erza said approaching the bed. "So do I still get that dagger or are you keeping it?" Gajeel asked smirking. "I think that I'll keep it." Lucy responded giggling. "Oh no you won't you are going to give me that dagger and I will keep it until you will stop trying to kill yourself." I said to her. "How many times has she attempted it?" Levy asked. "Well the first time was after school and she was going to jump off the rooftop. This time is her second time and she went with overdosing on medications." I answered. "Seriously bunny girl you were going to go off the school's roof?" Gajeel asked in surprised but interested tone.

"Yeah why?" Lucy asked looking at Gajeel in a funny manner. "I didn't think you would have the guts to do something as messy as that." Gajeel said laughing. "I wasn't thinking about the mess I was just wanting to kill myself and it seemed to be a good way to do it." Lucy said bluntly. "You should never think that way Lucy we all care about you so much." Levy said hugging Lucy very tightly. "Yeah but that was before I even was stabbed." Lucy replied. "That recent, boy bunny girl you sure have dark thoughts." Gajeel said with some respect in his voice. "Gajeel don't talk like that." Juvia scolded him while she clung to Gray's arm. "Um do I really strip that much that the only thing you left for me was your grabber?" Gray asked. "Well you are in a hospital and you aren't wearing a shirt so yes. But I did think about leaving my laundry basket to you as well." Lucy said pointing out Gray was indeed missing his shirt. "Damn it where is it?" Gray asked searching the surrounding area for it. "I picked it up Gray, here you go." Juvia said handing him his shirt. "Oh thanks Juvia." Gray said putting his shirt back on.

"Lucy you scared me." Happy cried hugging Lucy. "I'm sorry Happy." Lucy apologized hugging him. "I forgive you but could you make me some of those yummy recipes you were going to give me?" Happy asked holding the recipe book. "Sure just as soon as I get home." Lucy replied smiling. I quickly pulled out my camera and took a picture of her smiling for my collection. "There you go that is another picture for my Lucy smile collection." I said smiling at her. "What collection?" Gray asked. "Natsu has made it his personal project to take a picture of every time I smile because I used to never smile." Lucy explained. "If I didn't know better I would say that flame brain likes you." Gajeel said chuckling. "I like her just not in the way you're thinking of." I said to him. "Excuse me but I ask that you all step out for a moment I need to examine her." The doctor said interrupting us. We all filed out and waited in the hallway until the doctor left then we went back in. "Did the doctor say when you could come back?" Erza asked. "She said they want to keep me here for the night but I should be able to come back tomorrow." Lucy said. "That's good we enjoyed spending time with you yesterday." Erza said kindly. "Really?" Lucy asked surprised but hopeful. "Of course Lu-chan." Levy said smiling brightly. "That makes me happy." Lucy said a soft smile gracing her face. I took another picture of her and so far out of all of them this was my favorite smile.


End file.
